I have a confession.
As much as I can be very decisive, direct, and confident, I’m still a recovering people pleaser.
Which makes leadership, well, interesting.
Because leadership often requires you to deliver news that nobody wants to hear.
And despite what some people believe or portray, I don’t think most leaders ever become comfortable with that.
They simply become willing.
- Willing to have the conversation.
- Willing to sit in the discomfort.
- Willing to disappoint someone in the short term if it serves a greater purpose in the long term.
Because avoiding a difficult conversation isn’t kindness.
- It’s delay.
- It’s allowing confusion to linger.
- It’s allowing performance issues to continue.
- It’s allowing people to operate without the clarity they deserve.
The most caring leaders I’ve worked with weren’t the ones who avoided hard conversations.
They were the ones who cared enough to have them. Because leadership isn’t about making people comfortable all the time. It’s about serving people well, even when the truth is difficult.
Over the years I’ve been misunderstood from both directions.
Some senior leaders have viewed me as too people-focused. Some employees have viewed me as too corporate.
And honestly?
That probably means I’m somewhere in the middle where I belong.
Because leadership isn’t choosing people over the business.
And it isn’t choosing the business over people.
It’s carrying responsibility for both.
Let’s Simplify It
One of the biggest misconceptions about leadership is that leaders always know exactly what to do.
We don’t.
We gather information. We seek input. We weigh options. We make the best decision we can.
Then we carry the responsibility of communicating it.
Sometimes that means delivering exciting news. But it also means delivering hard news.
And hard news doesn’t stop being hard simply because you’re the one delivering it.
A Lesson I’ll Never Forget
During COVID, before the housing boom and before the crazy sales numbers, there was a lot of uncertainty.
Companies were making difficult decisions. Layoffs. Benefit changes. Restructuring.
I remember listening to a CEO on a town hall.
I don’t remember her exact words, but I remember the general message.
She essentially said:
I know whatever decision I make, it won’t serve everyone. My responsibility is to do what’s right for the organization and the greatest number of employees.
That stayed with me.
Because leadership isn’t about finding the decisions that makes everyone happy.
Sometimes that decision doesn’t exist.
Sometimes leadership is making the best decision you can for the long-term health of the organization and the people it supports.
Some Calls I’ve Had to Make
I’ve had to let people go who I genuinely believed had tremendous potential. People I liked. People I wanted to succeed. But they couldn’t accept feedback, coaching, or accountability. And eventually the gap between potential and performance became too large to ignore.
I’ve had to communicate delays over and over again. Delays that impacted customers. Employees. Business results. Even when I was just as frustrated as everyone else. I’ve had to deliver the news and re-design the path anyway.
I’ve had people yell at me after difficult decisions. Not because they were bad people. But because they were hurt. Scared. Angry. Hopeful the outcome might somehow change.
I’ve spoken up in meetings and said things I knew would be unpopular. Sometimes it cost me influence. Sometimes it strained relationships. But I made a commitment to myself a long time ago: If something needs to be said, I’ll say it. Especially when nobody else will.
I’ve advocated for employees to have more time or more support. Sometimes it was just what they needed to thrive. Sometimes it wasn’t. But I never regretted trying.
And one of the hardest call I’ve ever had to make was calling employees to tell them that one of our teammates had unexpectedly passed away. The corporate email that was about to go out didn’t feel sufficient. So I picked up the phone. I delivered the news. I cried with them. Then I hung up and made the next call. And the next one. And the next one.
Because before I was a leader, I was a human being.
And sometimes the right leadership move isn’t found in a playbook. It’s found in your heart.
What I’ve Learned
The longer I lead, the more I realize leadership isn’t about always having the right answer.
It’s about being willing to sit in discomfort. It’s about carrying responsibility. It’s about making decisions when there are no perfect options.
It’s about understanding that people may disagree with you, misunderstand you, or be disappointed by your decision.
And doing it anyway. Not because you’re fearless.
Because you’re responsible.
One Final Thought
The easiest thing a leader can do is avoid the hard conversation.
- Delay the decision.
- Pass the responsibility.
- Stay silent.
The hardest thing a leader can do is step forward when they know there is discomfort waiting on the other side.
Leadership isn’t always about vision. Or strategy. Or motivation.
Sometimes leadership is simply being willing to make the hard call.
And carrying the weight of it afterward.
Let’s lead with more clarity and less noise.
— Abby
