This past week I had one of those leadership days.
In the span of just a few hours, I facilitated a high-energy meeting with our entire team, delivered difficult news, professionally pitched an idea to my boss, interviewed a prospective employee who was excited about joining our company, sat through a long and stressful commute home, and then walked through my front door to two very excited little girls who couldn’t wait to tell me about their day.
Every one of those moments required a different version of me.
Not a different person.
A different energy.
I don’t always get this right. Sometimes I carry the weight of one conversation into the next. Sometimes frustration lingers longer than it should. But I’ve learned to at least pause and acknowledge the energy I’m carrying before I walk into the next room.
Because leadership isn’t just about what you say.
It’s about what people feel when you’re in the room.
Let’s Simplify It
This has to be practiced.
The ability to transition, to leave one conversation where it belongs before stepping into the next. That doesn’t mean pretending everything is okay. It doesn’t mean being fake.
It means recognizing that the people in front of you deserve the version of you that they need, not the emotional leftovers from someone else’s conversation.
As leaders, we’re constantly shifting gears.
- Sometimes people need encouragement.
- Sometimes they need accountability.
- Sometimes they need empathy.
- Sometimes they need confidence.
The mistake isn’t changing your approach.
The mistake is letting one moment steal the next.
The Ripple Effect
Years ago, I worked for a leader who received some bad news early one morning.
It had absolutely nothing to do with our team. But they didn’t know that. He spent the rest of the day quiet. Short. Distant. The entire office felt different. Everyone started asking the same questions.
“Did I do something wrong?”
“Is he upset with me?”
“Should I stay out of his way today?”
Looking back, I don’t think he intended to make us feel that way.
He was simply carrying something heavy.
But that’s the thing about leadership. Whether we mean to or not, our energy becomes part of everyone else’s experience.
Sometimes You Can’t Leave It at the Door
And that’s okay.
We’re human.
There are days when life follows us into work.
And days when work follows us home.
When that happens, I’ve learned that honesty is often the kindest leadership move.
Something as simple as:
“I’m having a hard day today. I want you to know it has nothing to do with you. I just need a little time to process something.”
That one sentence gives people clarity. They stop creating stories in their head.
They stop assuming they’ve done something wrong. They simply understand.
One thing that helps me reset is thinking about one of my friends.
She’s an ICU nurse. Every day she walks into situations that are literally life and death.
She carries a weight that I hope I never truly understand.
So when a delayed closing, a missed goal, or an unhappy customer starts to feel overwhelming, I think about her.
And I’m reminded…
This matters.
But it isn’t life or death.
We’ll solve it.
We’ll pivot.
We’ll move forward.
That perspective helps me leave more at the door.
One Final Thought
Being adaptable isn’t being fake. It’s emotional intelligence.
It’s understanding your role and being intentional about the energy you bring into every room. Sometimes the strongest thing you can do is soften and the kindest thing you can do is be firm. The wisdom is knowing which version of you the moment is asking for.
So before you walk into your next meeting…
Before you walk through your front door tonight…
Or before you answer that next phone call…
Pause for just a moment and ask yourself:
What do I need to leave at the door?
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one habit or perspective that helps you reset between difficult moments?
Let’s lead with more clarity and less noise.
— Abby
